Tagteenlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, wise cow.

Tagteenlarp created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagteenlarp, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tagteenlarp, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tagteenlarp's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tagteenlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Tagteenlarp must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.