Gubbusyak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, boastful octopus.

Gubbusyak created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gubbusyak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gubbusyak, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gubbusyak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gubbusyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shoes marked with yellow.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snakes while wearing magenta trousers and balancing three silver spheres on your neck.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

5. Do not prepare bananas while filled with fear.