Gadxuckbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, almighty dingo.

Gadxuckbeg created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadxuckbeg, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gadxuckbeg, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gadxuckbeg's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gadxuckbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Always wash your arms before prayer.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Do not eat beans.