Gubsidtom is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient narwhal.

Gubsidtom created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubsidtom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gubsidtom, it will turn you into a slug.

Gubsidtom's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gubsidtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Always obey Gubsidtom's priests.

4. Never talk about special relativity near porpoises while wearing red coats.

5. Never feed spinach to geese while wearing indigo shorts.