Rankinvon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-confident giraffe.

Rankinvon created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rankinvon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rankinvon, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Rankinvon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Rankinvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study archaea on holy days.

2. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

3. Erect four gold sculptures of Rankinvon on top of important buildings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never handle aluminium while unclean.