Mobwanlun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic lobster.

Mobwanlun created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobwanlun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mobwanlun, it will turn you into a hamster.

Mobwanlun's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Mobwanlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

2. Mobwanlun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

5. Never adorn your neck with pink markings.