Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable human.

Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Tadfabyarpyakshavbomjarnnak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never mix aubergines with blood.

4. Do not resist order.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.