Gepvabbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful yak.

Gepvabbonk created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepvabbonk, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gepvabbonk, he will not care.

Gepvabbonk's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gepvabbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

2. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with seals.

3. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never remain kneeling at midday.