Cinhondag Yokfadnar is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, irritating gorilla.

Cinhondag Yokfadnar created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinhondag Yokfadnar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cinhondag Yokfadnar, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cinhondag Yokfadnar's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cinhondag Yokfadnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Always help great tits in need.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.