Hudgumtag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful human.

Hudgumtag created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudgumtag, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hudgumtag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hudgumtag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hudgumtag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise swans for they are unholy.

2. Never wear yellow shorts on sacred days.

3. Retreat if eight birds approach from the north.

4. Hudgumtag loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.