Joptungil is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, passionate snake.

Joptungil created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Joptungil, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Joptungil, he will turn you into a snail.

Joptungil's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Joptungil's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never gather six badgers near wells.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Joptungil in the centre of the settlement.