Tintargbitcam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying ferret.

Tintargbitcam created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tintargbitcam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tintargbitcam, she will turn you into a mole.

Tintargbitcam's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tintargbitcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Do not take Tintargbitcam's name in vain.

3. Do not name children after seals.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Tintargbitcam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about archaea.