Betfaghim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking armadillo.

Betfaghim created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betfaghim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Betfaghim, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Betfaghim's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Betfaghim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Retreat if three sharks approach from the west.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Betfaghim.