Kambellraw is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humorless mink.

Kambellraw created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Kambellraw, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kambellraw, he will turn you into a hamster.

Kambellraw's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kambellraw's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Never wear black corsets on sacred days.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near seals while wearing pink rings and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.