Yarpbetvan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome ant.

Yarpbetvan created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbetvan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarpbetvan, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yarpbetvan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yarpbetvan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not keep eight eagles in a large pit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.