Mitstanhab Lunkenbell is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, duplicitous clam.

Mitstanhab Lunkenbell created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitstanhab Lunkenbell, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mitstanhab Lunkenbell, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mitstanhab Lunkenbell's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Mitstanhab Lunkenbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Do not prepare nuts while wearing jumpers.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Never talk about dark matter.