Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, merciless pigeon.

Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub, he will turn you into a dog.

Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Always obey Tinarmxuck Zeddanhub's priests.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

5. Never eat bark.