Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, selfish monkey.

Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Put Gofnadzogsaf Bedingtap first in all things.

3. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

4. Always store melons above ground.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.