Kemtalcep is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, uncaring pigeon.

Kemtalcep created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Kemtalcep, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kemtalcep, she will throw large rocks at you.

Kemtalcep's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kemtalcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of numbers.

2. Never allow turtles to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Pray only in shadows.