Paghakrill is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise narwhal.

Paghakrill created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Paghakrill, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Paghakrill, he will strike you with lightening.

Paghakrill's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Paghakrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near goats while wearing brown tights and balancing eight titanium spheres on your chest.

2. Always obey Paghakrill's priests.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.