Dapquillham is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil slug.

Dapquillham created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dapquillham, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dapquillham, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dapquillham's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dapquillham's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to eight before sleeping.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.