Gubsandtit is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless whale.

Gubsandtit created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubsandtit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gubsandtit, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gubsandtit's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gubsandtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight turtles near bridges.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never mark doors with mauve.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never feed rice to sharks while wearing blue shorts.