Shavogdossripsiskem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet gorilla.

Shavogdossripsiskem created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavogdossripsiskem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Shavogdossripsiskem, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Shavogdossripsiskem's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Shavogdossripsiskem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Never wear turquoise boots.

3. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.