Flatflamgub is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unsympathetic horse.

Flatflamgub created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatflamgub, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flatflamgub, she will turn you into a snail.

Flatflamgub's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Flatflamgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never paint your hands brown.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not listen to music.