Tadnuttyarpsit is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, humorless fish.

Tadnuttyarpsit created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadnuttyarpsit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tadnuttyarpsit, he will try to impress you with trees.

Tadnuttyarpsit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tadnuttyarpsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never skip in holy places.