Nullveen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered dove.

Nullveen created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullveen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nullveen, he will turn you into a tree.

Nullveen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Nullveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Never feed beans to frogs while wearing white tights.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nullveen on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Always share limes with strangers, but never with pigs.