Quaf Bengudtarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, flying tortoise.

Quaf Bengudtarp created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quaf Bengudtarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quaf Bengudtarp, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quaf Bengudtarp's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Quaf Bengudtarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quaf Bengudtarp four times a day.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Quaf Bengudtarp loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Quaf Bengudtarp in the centre of the settlement.