Bellbellarp is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, emotional seal.

Bellbellarp created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellbellarp, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bellbellarp, he will remove you from existence.

Bellbellarp's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bellbellarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not place corn upon stone.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Do not take Bellbellarp's name in vain.