Yatarfnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable human.

Yatarfnarl created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatarfnarl, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yatarfnarl, she will make you grow a tail.

Yatarfnarl's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Yatarfnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Never touch water while blessed.

3. Worship no other gods but Yatarfnarl.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not resist balance.