Gunbonnig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful newt.

Gunbonnig created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbonnig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gunbonnig, he will turn you into a sheep.

Gunbonnig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gunbonnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never gather four frogs near doors.

5. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.