Bognelwon is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful narwhal.

Bognelwon created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bognelwon, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bognelwon, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bognelwon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bognelwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place peas upon stone.

2. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Bognelwon on top of important buildings.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Bognelwon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never eat aubergines on fasting days.

5. Do not shave your face.