Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, witty squirrel.

Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of strawberries to bats while wearing blue skirts.

2. Never stain your arms with pink.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Put Rulljarnfoss Tagvonpag first in all things.

5. Do not hurt geese.