Xenvednabxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, irritating dove.

Xenvednabxuc created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenvednabxuc, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xenvednabxuc, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Xenvednabxuc's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Xenvednabxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not fashion tools from copper.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always act with purity.