Kabcapsug Tonbogtapbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish newt.

Kabcapsug Tonbogtapbarn created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabcapsug Tonbogtapbarn, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kabcapsug Tonbogtapbarn, she will turn you into a worm.

Kabcapsug Tonbogtapbarn's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kabcapsug Tonbogtapbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

3. Never prepare melons during spring.

4. Never curse while facing south.

5. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.