Nurtruljen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, blissful camel.

Nurtruljen created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtruljen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtruljen, it will turn you into a rock.

Nurtruljen's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nurtruljen's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat green fruit.