Mitbodban is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fast cow.

Mitbodban created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Mitbodban, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mitbodban, it will turn you into a slug.

Mitbodban's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Mitbodban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh at rivers.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing brown tights.

5. Put Mitbodban first in all things.