Targkaphot is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, duplicitous goat.

Targkaphot created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targkaphot, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Targkaphot, he will turn you into a tree.

Targkaphot's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Targkaphot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Never hop near moths.

4. Never think about dark energy near ducks while wearing fawn kilts and balancing four titanium spheres on your arms.

5. Never look in ponds.