Arfbessxen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing goat.

Arfbessxen created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfbessxen, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arfbessxen, it will send minions to preach to you.

Arfbessxen's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Arfbessxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never gather seven grasshopers in one place.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never point your hands toward the west during prayer.