Yarladkap is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic mouse.

Yarladkap created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarladkap, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarladkap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarladkap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yarladkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Never hop near goats.

5. Do not shave your legs.