Catmobquartcun is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring owl.

Catmobquartcun created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Catmobquartcun, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Catmobquartcun, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Catmobquartcun's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Catmobquartcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt aardvarks.

2. Worship no other gods but Catmobquartcun.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Never feed lots of strawberries to snails while wearing cyan trousers.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.