Zodyakyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-assured walrus.

Zodyakyok created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodyakyok, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zodyakyok, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zodyakyok's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Zodyakyok's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always wear plain rings during rituals.