Yattfatbell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient fly.

Yattfatbell created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattfatbell, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yattfatbell, he will destroy your home planet.

Yattfatbell's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Yattfatbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Yattfatbell on top of all buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.