Sasarplit is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow scorpion.

Sasarplit created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sasarplit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sasarplit, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sasarplit's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Sasarplit's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare aubergines during spring.

2. Never feed strawberries to aardvarks while wearing tights.

3. Never gather seven tapirs near bridges.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Never go into white rooms.