Bemstipgof is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent unicorn.

Bemstipgof created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemstipgof, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bemstipgof, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bemstipgof's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bemstipgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always help sick manatees.

3. Moths are not to be trusted.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Always stare at clouds.