Vegcitquat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sage meerkat.

Vegcitquat created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vegcitquat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vegcitquat, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vegcitquat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vegcitquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sharks.

2. Erect three silver sculptures of Vegcitquat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

4. Never gather five swans near bridges.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.