Kinvintap is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered yak.

Kinvintap created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Kinvintap, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kinvintap, he will turn you into a rat.

Kinvintap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kinvintap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Do not name children after aardvarks.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with envy.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.