Wapsugort is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, flying crocodile.

Wapsugort created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapsugort, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Wapsugort, it will turn you into a duck.

Wapsugort's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Wapsugort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study archaea on holy days.

2. Do not consume apples at dawn.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never feed gooseberries to eagles while wearing blue coats.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.