Jarnfutcud is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous hummingbird.

Jarnfutcud created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnfutcud, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarnfutcud, he will ignore you.

Jarnfutcud's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Jarnfutcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Never gather three monkeys near doors.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

5. Never think ill of sick mites.