Gettimcin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic deer.

Gettimcin created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gettimcin, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gettimcin, it will turn you into a duck.

Gettimcin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gettimcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Gettimcin loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gettimcin on top of all buildings.

5. Always obey Gettimcin's priests.