Lidweexuck is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, compassionate dog.

Lidweexuck created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidweexuck, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lidweexuck, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lidweexuck's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lidweexuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Never touch oil while tainted.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

5. Never talk about spacetime near aardvarks while wearing blue rings.